Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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