Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize