I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
