I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she smelled like a LAN party
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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