what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize