so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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