it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
