one might say we're banned from that church
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
