am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
