i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize