i don't like sucking hair
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
