I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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