Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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