Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
