he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
