guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
