Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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