i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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