I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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