I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
