Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
