dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's blow job season.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
MIDGETS
????
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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