Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think your dad took our porno
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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