I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
