theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
