I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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