I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
