Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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