we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
