how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
