My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
