he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
