If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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