She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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