i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
