Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
