Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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