physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
