Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
