He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
