I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
did i walk over a car last night?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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