did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I die, sorry about rent.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
