Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize