Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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