two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
