Please, let me fuck your mom
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
