Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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