Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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