i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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