It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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