NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
