Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize