At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
