hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
