found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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