6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
