is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
