I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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