At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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