Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
