if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
