I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
