do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
