Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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